Frustration Tolerance and Its Role in Anger Arousal

“Frustration tolerance” refers to our capacity to tolerate frustration, a competency that might vary from person to person. Skiptomaincontent BernardGolden,Ph.D. OvercomingDestructiveAnger Anger FrustrationToleranceandItsRoleinAngerArousal Enhancingyourfrustrationtolerancediminishesyourpropensityforanger. PostedMay22,2020 | ReviewedbyEkuaHagan Share Tweet Email THEBASICS HowCanIManageMyAnger? Findatherapisttohealfromanger Youneededtobeattheofficeby8o’clockbutinstead,you’resittinginyourcar,stalledintrafficcongestionduetounexpectedconstruction. Orperhapsyou’retryingtoassembleabookcasebelievingitshouldbeasimpletask.Surprise!Yourealizeyouusedthewrongscrewsinonesectionandnowhavetoadmitthatit’smuchmorecomplicatedthanyouthought. Itmakesperfectsensethatyoumightfeelfrustratedinthesescenarios.Butifthatisyourreaction,justhowfrustratedmightyoubecome?Mightyou,asthedriverinthefirstscenario,hityourhandonthedashboard?Honkyourhorn?Squirmaroundinyourseat?Andifyouwereassemblingthatbookcase,mightyouquicklybecomeangrytowardthecase,theinstructions,thestore,orwithyourself? Frustrationinvolvesastateofinternaltensionweexperiencewhenourgoals,desires,orexpectationsarethwarted.Whilesomemightviewfrustrationasjustalow-levelformofanger,it’shelpfultounderstanditasdistinctfromanger. “Frustrationtolerance”referstoourcapacitytotoleratefrustration,acompetencythatmightvaryfrompersontoperson.Withalowtolerance,we’requicktofeelfrustratedandfeelitintensely.Bycontrast,someofusareabletolivealifeinaccordwiththeoldsong,“Quesera,sera"—whateverwillbe,willbe. Howmuchfrustrationtolerancedoyouhave?Andwhenfrustrated,doesitquicklyyieldtoanger? Angerisjustonepossibleoutcomeoftheinternaltensionassociatedwithfeelingsoffrustration.However,manyindividualspronetoangerrarelyexperienceadistinctdifferencebetweenthesetwoexperiences.Thisisbecausetheyoftenspontaneouslymovefromfrustrationintoangerarousalandexpressionwithoutsufficientlypausingtorecognizetheinnertensionoffrustration. However,angerisactuallyjustonepossibleoutcomeoffrustration.Forexample,thepressureoffrustrationmayinsteadleadustosimplygiveuponachievingagoal.I’veseenthisevidencedinmypractice,whenindividualswithdrawfromanacademicprogram,quitajob,orarequicktoendarelationship. And,alltoooften,itislowfrustrationtolerancethatinhibitscuriosityaswellasourattemptstolearnnewskillsevenwhenwedohaveaninterestindoingso.I’velistenedtohundredsofindividualswhoselowfrustrationtolerance,withoutfullawareness,underminedtheireffortstolearnaninstrument,playaboardgame,engageinphysicalexercise,oravarietyofotheractivities. FrustratedMan Source:123rfStockPhoto/Golubovy Unfortunately,eachtimewesimplygiveupinthefaceoffrustration,westrengthenourtendencytogiveup.Alltoooften,withdrawinginthefaceoffrustrationonlyreinforcesaweakenedsenseofself,aninternalscriptthatweareinadequate.Whilethisreactionmayattimesbearesponsetodepression,whenfrequentandpervasive,itmaycontributetodepression. THEBASICS HowCanIManageMyAnger? Findatherapisttohealfromanger Whenexcessiveandprolonged,frustrationcanalsoleadtoand/orexacerbatephysicalsymptomssuchasdigestiveproblems,migraines,cardiacevents,orcolitis.Additionally,frustrationmaybemanagedinwaysthatareself-destructive,i.e.,eatingandweightproblems,theabuseofalcoholordrugs,oraddictivebehaviors,allbehaviorsthatmayfurtherexacerbateself-directedanger. Factorsthatimpactourfrustrationtolerance Severalfactorspotentiallyimpactourtoleranceforfrustrationand,ultimatelyjusthowpronewemaybeforangerarousal.Theseinclude: Ourearlydevelopment Frustrationtolerancedevelopsinthecontextofoursuccessesinmasteringchallenges.Itisgroundedtosomeextentinourearlysupportandencouragementwhenfacinglifechallenges,bothsmallandbig.Suchsuccessesbuilduponeachotherandshapeanoverallsenseofcompetencethatcansupportuswhenfrustrated.Itisthiscompetence,forexample,thatallowsonechildtoreconstructasandcastleattheshore,whenhisfirstonewasdestroyedbyanincomingwave–whileanotherchildgivesup,sulks,andreturnstotheblanket. AngerEssentialReads WhenAngerBecomesEmpowerment IsAngerAffectingYourMarriage? Ourfrustrationtolerancecanbeviewedastensiontolerance–ourcapacitytositwithandmovepastthetensionthatweexperienceinourbodies.Inordertohelpchildrendevelopthiscompetence,I’vealwaysadvocatedthatparentspresenttheirchildwithchallengesthatreflecttolerablelevelsoffrustrationinthelearningprocess.Thisisbasedontheideathatachildfacedwithanoverwhelmingchallengemaybequicktoshutdown.Consequently,hemaythenbecomeangrywithhimself,thechallenge,orthosepresentingthechallenge.Bycontrast,boredomoranoverlyinflatedsenseofselfmayresultwhentasksaremadetooeasy,absentofevenslightfrustration. Nature Ourcapacityforfrustration,likesomuchofourpersonality,isstronglyinfluencedbyournatureandourexperiences.Someofusarebornmore“thin-skinned,”morephysiologicallyreactivetoemotionalchallenge,whileothersare“thick-skinned,”capableofbeingstimulatedwithoutoverreactingtoit.However,theinfluenceofnurture,theexperienceswehavewithothersandourselves,canhaveasofteningimpactthatfostersagreatercapacityforfrustrationtolerance. Distortionsofthinking Thetendencytowarddistortionsofthinkingcanpotentiallyheightenboththeintensityandfrequencyoffrustration.“Awfulizing”isonesuchdistortion.Thismightinvolveself-talksuchas,“I’llneverfinishthis!”“It’smuchtoohardforme!”“I’mjustnotbrightenough!”—aninternaldialoguethatleadstoexaggeratingthedifficultyofthechallenge. Vulnerabilitytoexperiencefrustrationmaybeespeciallyheightenedwhenwerigidlymaintainaninternalscriptthatthings“should”beasweexpectthemtobe.Suchafiltermaybeappliedtotheworldingeneral,others,andourselves. Attitudesofentitlement Attitudesofentitlementaresimilarlyassociatedbothwithquicknesstoexperiencefrustrationaswellasangerarousal.Itisassociatedwithtraitanger(anongoingpredispositiontowardangerarousal)aswellasstateanger(amoresituationalresponse)(Filippello,Harrington,andBuzzai,et.al.,2014)Assuch,withandwithoutfullawareness,wejustassumethattheworldandpeople,ingeneral,shouldtreatusinaspecificwaybecauseweperceiveourselvesasbeingspecial. Itisonethingtofeeldeservingofgoodfortuneandtreatment.Itisquiteanothertoexpectit.Andsomemaintaintheseexpectationsinanefforttoboostanunderlyingsenseofbeinginadequate,flawed,orweak. Rigidityofexpectations Flexibilityinourthinkingandemotionshelpbuoyourresiliencetofrustration(SeemypostofJanuary31,2020).Bycontrast,rigidlyholdingontoexpectationsisaformulaforthearousaloffrustrationandthetensionthataccompaniesit.Knowingwhentoletgooforadjustourexpectationsmakesallthedifferenceindeterminingfrustrationoranger. Lowdistresstolerance “Distresstolerance”isatermusedinresearchthatreflectsanindividual’scapabilitytoexperienceandendurenegativeemotionalstates.Havingalowdistresstolerancehasbeenfoundtoprimeusforfrustration.Asanexample,onestudyof769collegestudentsfoundthathurrieddrivingwasassociatedwithlowerlevelsofdistresstolerance(Beck,Kenneth,Daughters,et.al,2012).Hurrieddrivingincludeddriverangeraswellasaggressiveandriskydriving. Distresstoleranceisanimportantcomponentofwhatisdescribedas“emotionalintelligence.”Researchoverseveraldecadeshasbetteridentifiedhowsuchcompetencycanbelearned,inanefforttoboostourcapacityforemotionalregulation. Problem-solvingskills Alltoooften,wetendtoexpectourselvestohavecertainskillsalthoughwemayneverhavehadformalinstructiononlearningthem.I’veobservedthistobethecaseinelementaryschoolchildrenwhowerenevertaughthowtostudy,inparentswhoneverreadabookorattendedclassesinparenting,andinadministratorswhoneverlearnedhowtomanagepeople.Beingopentolearningnewskillsisamajorantidoteforenhancingourfrustrationtolerance. Angerrumination Difficultywithlettinggoofangeraboutpasteventscancontributetoongoingruminationaboutthoseevents.Thisisoftenrevealedinself-talkthatfocusesonpastgrievances–includingalternativeresponsesthatcouldhavebeenmadeaswellasactsofretaliation.Suchthoughtscanprimeusforlowfrustrationtolerance(Cruz&Sofia,2017). Havingalowtoleranceforfrustrationisnotsimplyapermanentcharacterflaw.Rather,itreflectsanabsenceofskilldevelopmentthatallowsustomoreeffectivelysitwithstrongnegativeemotionsandthelackofself-awarenessofdistortionsinthinking.Itisachallengethatcanbeaddressedbydevelopingincreasedself-awareness,self-compassion,mindfulness,andthepatienceandcommitmenttolearningtopausewhenwedobecomefrustrated. Andevenwhenweexperiencefrustration,it’shelpfultoremember—itcanleadtopositiveoutcomesthatmoveustowardnewlearning,innovation,orevenangerthatisexpressedinanassertivemanner.Whenthishappens,wecanbecomemoreresilientwhenfacinglife’schallenges–includingtrafficcongestionandassemblingabookcase. References Fillippello,P,Harrington,N.,Buzzai,C.,et.al.(2014)Therelationshipbetweenfrustrationintolerance,unhealthyemotions,andassertivebehaviorinItalianstudentsJournalofRational-EmotiveandCognitive-BehaviorTherapy,32(4),257-278. Beck,K.,Daughers,S.,andAli,B.(2013)Hurrieddriving:Relationshiptodistresstolerance,driveranger,aggressiveandriskydrivingincollegestudents.AccidentAnalysisandPrevention,Vol.51,March,51-55. Hennessy,D.(2017)Theroleofangerruminationinthefrustration-aggressionlink.InCruz,F.andSofia,M.Psychologyofemotions,motivationsandactions.Angerandanxiety:Predictors,copingstrategiesandhealtheffects.NovaSciencePublishers,201-205. More references Share Tweet Email advertisement AbouttheAuthor BernardGolden,Ph.D.,isthefounderofAngerManagementEducationandauthorofOvercomingDestructiveAnger:StrategiesThatWork. Online:AngerManagementEducation ReadNext WhenAngerBecomesEmpowerment HowGrievingIdeasCanBeanAntidotetoChronicAnger advertisement AngerEssentialReads IsAngerAffectingYourMarriage? 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