Preoccupied Attachment Style - Causes, Signs, Healing

An infant develops a preoccupied attachment style when they receive inconsistent care from their primary caregiver. The child becomes unsure ... SkiptoContent |Principlesofattachmenttheory|Causes|Signsinchildren|Signsinadults|Healingforchildren|Healingforadults| Whatisapreoccupiedattachmentstyle Aninfantdevelopsapreoccupiedattachmentstylewhentheyreceiveinconsistentcarefromtheirprimarycaregiver.Thechildbecomesunsureabouttheircaretaker’savailabilityandwhethertheywillbethereforthemwhenneeded.Thechildispreoccupiedwithwatchingtheircaregiver’sunpredictablebehaviorandwhereabouts. Thepreoccupiedattachmentpatternissometimescalledtheanxious-resistant/ambivalentattachment/anxiouspreoccupiedattachmentstyle.Itisaninsecureattachmentstyle. Principlesofattachmenttheory Attachmentisdeepandenduringemotionalbondsthatinfantsdevelopduringtheirformativeyearsasasurvivalmechanismtomaintainaconnectionwiththeircaregivers​1​. TheattachmenttheorywasdevelopedbypsychiatristJohnBowlbytoexplainthedifferentconnection-seekingattachmentbehaviorsinfantsusetogetsupportfromtheircaregiversintimesofdistress. Accordingtothistheoryofattachment,childrenviewtheirattachmentfiguresasasecurebasefromwhichtoexploretheworldandasafehavenwhenindistress. Thetypeofattachmentachilddevelopsdependsonhowwelltheircaregiverresponds. Whentheircaregiversareresponsiveandmeettheirneedsconsistently,childrendevelopasenseofsecurity.Theseparentsrespondsensitivelyandappropriatelytotheirchildren’sneeds.  Thefourdifferentattachmentstylesare: SecureattachmentstylePreoccupiedattachmentstyleAvoidantattachmentstyleDisorganizedattachmentstyle Causesofpreoccupiedattachmentstyle Preoccupiedchildrentypicallyhaveemotionallyunpredictableparentswithinconsistentparenting.Theyareanxiousandpreoccupiedwiththeircaregivers’availability,especiallywhentheyareindistress. Sometimestheseparentsarewarmandloving,butsometimestheyaredisapprovingandwithholding.Preoccupiedchildrentendtohaverecollectionsofparentallove-withdrawal​2​.  Love-withdrawalisaformofdisciplineinwhichtheparentexpressesdisapprovalofthechild’sactionsinadirectbutnonphysicalwayviaexpressionsofdisappointment,rejection,ridicule,orcoldness.Thisstyleofdisciplinemayprovokeanxietyaboutabandonment​3​. Theseparentstendtohaveasimilarlyanxiousattachmentstylethemselvesandarepreoccupiedwiththeirownearlyexperiences. Preoccupiedchildren,therefore,showhighanxietyabouttheirrelationshipswiththeirparentsandbelievetheyarenotworthyofothers’love. Achild’sunresolvedattachmentissuescancarryoverintotheiradultlife. Signsofpreoccupiedattachmentstyleinchildren Separationanxiety Childrenwhoarepreoccupieddon’tknowiftheirparentscanassistthemindifficultsituations.Theydevelopananxiousviewofthemselvesandanegativeself-image. Anxiousinfantsoftensufferfromseparationanxietyanddevelopclingingbehavior.Theyarehypervigilantandpaycloseattentiontothebehaviorandpresence,ofcaregivers.Suchbehaviorsstemfromastrongfearofrejection. IntheStrangeSituation,anexperimentinwhichpsychologistMaryAinsworthidentifiestheattachmentstyleinchildren,preoccupiedchildrenshowambivalentorresistantreactionsupontheirparents’return​4​. Hyperactivity Becauseofthecaretaker’sinconsistentbehavior,childrendevelophyperactivatingstrategies.Infantsactoverlyemotionalinordertogetattentionfromtheirparents​5​. Lessexploration Asthechildseekstoremainneartheircaregiver,preoccupiedbabiestendtoexploretheenvironmentless​6​. Lackofresilience Achild’sabilitytoregulatetheiremotionsunderstressisanessentialskilltheydevelopinearlychildhood.Butlackofresilienceandinabilitytoregulateemotionsarecharacteristicsofpreoccupied-attachedchildren​7​. Signsofpreoccupiedattachmentstyleinadults Fearofabandonment Preoccupiedanxiousadultswanttobeclosetoothers.Theyareverydrawntootherpeopleandwanttodevelopromanticrelationships.Buttheirfeelingsofinsecuritycausethemtofeelunlovableandunworthy.Theyoftenwonderiftheywillbelovedorabandoned. Theyhavedifficulttrustingotherswilllovethemback. Thisanxietymanifestsitselfasbehaviorssuchasneedinessandclinginessincloserelationships,whichdriveothersaway,furtherexacerbatingthefearsofabandonment. Lowselfesteem Preoccupiedadultshaveanegativeviewofthemselvesandapositiveviewofothers.Tomaintainself-esteemandfeelsupported,theydependonothers’constantreassuranceandvalidation. Theyarethereforemorelikelytobeinvolvedinabusiverelationships.  Amongbatteredwomen,53%arethepreoccupiedtype,whichistwotothreetimeshigherthanthegeneralpopulation. Thetendencyofthesewomentowardidealizationandcompulsivecare-takingmakesthemmorelikelytostaywithabusiveromanticpartners​8​. Innerconflictandanger Preoccupiedindividualsareassociatedwithinnerconflictsduetounfilledyearningsforemotionalclosenessanddeepconnection.  Ononehand,theypursueintimaterelationshipsintensely.Ontheotherhand,whentheirconstantneedisnotmet,theytendtobecomeangryandfrustrated. Thesepeoplealsotendtodwellonangertowardsparents,eveniftheparentsaredeceased​9​. Riskofdepression Thosewhoarepreoccupiedtendtohavearuminativeprocessingstyle.Theytendtofocusonnegativememoriessuchasnegativeparentalbonding.Asaresult,theyaremorepronetodepression​10​.  Borderlinepersonalitydisorder(BPD) Theborderlinepersonalitydisorderisfoundtobeassociatedwithpreoccupation.  Peoplewiththisdisorderexhibitextremeidealizationanddevaluationinrelationships,aswellasintoleranceofloneliness,whichcausesfranticattemptstoavoidabandonment.Theyshowapreoccupiedstylecharacterizedbyclingy,entangled,angry,anddependentbehaviors​11​. Healingforchildren Consistentlyresponsive Attachmentrepairstartswithconsistentcaringresponsesfromprimarycaregivers​12​. Youngchildrendevelopsecurerelationshipsandlearnself-regulationskillswhentheircaregiversrespondreliablytotheiremotionalneedsandco-regulatewiththem. Self-confidence Donotuselovewithholdingorwithdrawalasadisciplinarytool. Helpchildrendevelopapositivesenseofself-worthbyshowingthemtheirunconditionalloveandteachingthemhowtocarrypositiveself-talk. Earnedsecureattachment Trustedadultscanalsomeetachild’sneedsandhelpthembuildsecureattachment.Suchasurrogateattachmentfigurecanhelpchildrendevelopanearnedsecureattachment.Thefigurecanbetheparent,ateacher,oramentor. Healingforadults Makepeacewiththepast Ahealingprocessinvolvesreflectingonone’slifeproblemsandmakingsenseofone’schildhoodexperiences.Professionalhelpisagreatwaytobeginthehealingprocess.Onecangainadeeperunderstandingoftheirpastexperienceswiththehelpofanexperiencedtherapist. Itisparticularlyimportanttogetmedicalhelpifyousufferfrommentalhealthproblems. Healthyadultrelationships Ifyouoryourlovedoneisdealingwithattachmentwounds,couplestherapymayhelpyouformasecurerelationshipanddevelopearnedsecurity. Anexperiencedtherapistcanalsohelpyousethealthyboundaries,boostyourself-confidence,andformhealthyrelationshipsawayfromabusiveones. Beawareoftriggers Ananxiouspersoncanavoidoverreactingbyunderstandingwhatmaytriggertheiranxiety.Usually,thingsthatsignifyrejectionorabandonmentcaninducefearorinsecurity. Herearesomeexamples: Whenyougreetafriendonthestreet,buthedoesn’tacknowledgeorrespond.Yourromanticpartnerforgetsaspecialanniversary.Yourfriendgoestothemovieswithanotherfriendwithoutinvitingyou. Socialsupport Seekingsocialsupportfromfriendsandfamilycanbehelpfulforsomepeople.Asupportivecommunitycanhelpanxiousadultsimprovetheirlowself-esteem.However,bemindfulnottofallintotheoldhabitofbeingclingyanddependent.Believeinyourselfandyourabilitytodevelophealthyrelationships. Finalthoughtsonpreoccupiedattachment Ifyou,yourlovedone,oryourchildisstrugglingwiththeseissues,professionalhelpisagreatwaytostartthehealingprocess. References 1.BowlbyJ.AttachmentandLoss:VolumeI:Attachment.InAttachmentandLoss:VolumeI:Attachment.;1969. 2.MagaiC,HunzikerJ,MesiasW,CulverLC.Adultattachmentstylesandemotionalbiases.InternationalJournalofBehavioralDevelopment.PublishedonlineSeptember2000:301-309.doi:10.1080/01650250050118286 3.HoffmanML.Conscience,Personality,andSocializationTechniques.HumanDevelopment.Publishedonline1970:90-126.doi:10.1159/000270884 4.BrumariuLE,KernsKA.Mother–ChildAttachmentPatternsandDifferentTypesofAnxietySymptoms:IsThereSpecificityofRelations?ChildPsychiatryHumDev.PublishedonlineJuly20,2010:663-674.doi:10.1007/s10578-010-0195-0 5.StevensFL.Affectregulationstylesinavoidantandanxiousattachment.IndividualDifferencesResearch.2014;12(3):123-130. 6.CampbellL,MarshallT.AnxiousAttachmentandRelationshipProcesses:AnInteractionistPerspective.ActaAnaesthesiolScand.PublishedonlineOctober19,2011:1219-1250.doi:10.1111/j.1467-6494.2011.00723.x 7.KarremanA,VingerhoetsAJJM.Attachmentandwell-being:Themediatingroleofemotionregulationandresilience.PersonalityandIndividualDifferences.PublishedonlineNovember2012:821-826.doi:10.1016/j.paid.2012.06.014 8.HendersonAJZ,BartholomewK,DuttonDG.JournalofFamilyViolence.Publishedonline1997:169-191.doi:10.1023/a:1022836711637 9.DeHaasMA,Bakermans-KranenburgMJ,VanIjzendoornMH.TheAdultAttachmentInterviewandQuestionnairesforAttachmentStyle,Temperament,andMemoriesofParentalBehavior.TheJournalofGeneticPsychology.PublishedonlineDecember1994:471-486.doi:10.1080/00221325.1994.9914795 10.MurphyB,BatesGW.Adultattachmentstyleandvulnerabilitytodepression.PersonalityandIndividualDifferences.PublishedonlineJune1997:835-844.doi:10.1016/s0191-8869(96)00277-2 11.Choi-KainLW,FitzmauriceGM,ZanariniMC,LaverdièreO,GundersonJG.TheRelationshipBetweenSelf-ReportedAttachmentStyles,InterpersonalDysfunction,andBorderlinePersonalityDisorder.JournalofNervous&MentalDisease.PublishedonlineNovember2009:816-821.doi:10.1097/nmd.0b013e3181bea56e 12.LiebermanAF,PawlJH.Clinicalapplicationsofattachmenttheory.In:ClinicalImplicationsofAttachment.;1988:327-351. Wasthisarticlehelpful? Yes No Postnavigation SocialCompetenceinChildren6CriticalStepstoPreventRiskyBehaviorinTeensandPre-teens Disclaimer *Allinformationonparentingforbrain.comisforeducationalpurposesonly.ParentingForBraindoesnotprovidemedicaladvice.Ifyoususpectmedicalproblemsorneedprofessionaladvice,pleaseconsultaphysician.* Searchfor: 4TypesofParentingStylesandTheirEffectsOnTheChild7SimpleStepstoDealingwithTwoYearOld’sTemperTantrums Searchfor: