The Superpowers of Anxious Preoccupied Attachment

The anxious preoccupied attachment style is a form of insecure attachment. Insecure attachment usually manifests from inconsistent parenting ... Workbooks ForAllStyles Attachment&Bonding throughBodynamic Boundaries LearnEnergyManagement EmotionalAlchemy RestoreYourInnerBalance BalanceAttachmentRelationships FacilitatedbyLeadingExperts ApplyNow Workbooks Attachment&Bonding Boundaries EmotionalAlchemy BalanceAttachmentRelationships AnxiousAttachment Howdoesitdevelopinchildhood? AvoidantAttachment Whataresymptomsinadultrelationships? DisorganizedAttachment Whatisitliketodateadisorganizedadult? SecureAttachment The5conditionsforsecureattachment AnxiousAttachment AvoidantAttachment DisorganizedAttachment SecureAttachment TheSuperpowersofAnxiousPreoccupiedAttachment PublishedonAugust16,2021 UpdatedonSeptember12,2022 Therearemanybenefitsofbeinganadultwithanxiouspreoccupiedattachment.Andwe’renotjustliftingthesesuperpowersfromourimagination.They’rebackedupbyresearchandobservations,soyoudon’thavetojusttakeourwordforit.However,inordertosuccessfullyimproveyourpersonalstrengths,youmayfirstneedtobeabletorecognizethem. Thisarticlewilldiscussthesuperpowersthatananxiouslyattachedpersonmaypossessinthedifferentdomainsoftheirlife.Youmightjustdiscoverasuperpowerthatyoudidn’trealizeyouhad.evenonethatyoupreviouslymighthavethoughtwasachallenge! Inthisarticlewewilldiscuss: BriefintroonattachmenttheoryWhatisanxiousattachment?Whatispositivepsychology?ThesixworkplacesuperpowersofanxiouspreoccupiedcolleaguesThefiverelationshipsuperpowersofanxiouspreoccupiedpartnersThefourfriendshipsuperpowersofadultswithanxiousattachment Firstthingsfirst–whatisattachment? Anattachmentstyleissomeone’swayofrelatingtoothersinrelationships–bothpersonalandprofessional.Accordingtotheparametersofattachmenttheory,whichJohnBowlbyandMaryAinsworthinitiallydevelopedinthe1950s,aperson’sattachmentstyleformsasaresponsetotheirrelationshipwiththeircaregiver. Therearefourtypesofattachment:secure,anxious,avoidant,anddisorganized. Whatisanxiouspreoccupiedattachment? Theanxiouspreoccupiedattachmentstyleisaformofinsecureattachment.Insecureattachmentusuallymanifestsfrominconsistentparentingduringachild’sformativeyears.Inotherwords,thecaregiversmayhavebeensupportiveandattentivetotheirchild’sneedsattimes.However,onotheroccasions,theymaynothavebeenattunedtotheirchild’sneeds.  Commonsignsofanxiousattachmentinadults DeepfearofabandonmentHighlyinsecureinrelationshipsExhibitsclingyandneedybehaviorsOftensearchingforexternalvalidationWorriedthatapartnerdoesn’tlovethemAnxietythatapartnerwillleavethem Anxiouslyattachedpeopletendtohaveadeepfearofabandonment.Asaresult,theyarehighlyinsecureabouttheirrelationships.Thisattachmentstyletypicallyidentifieswithclingyandneedybehaviors.Anxiouslyattachedpeoplemayevenexpressan“emotionalhunger”astheyconstantlysearchforvalidationfromtheirpartnerthattheylovethemandwon’tleavethem. Itisimportanttobeawareofthetraitsofyourattachmentstyle,aswellashowtheycannegativelyimpactyourlife.However,youcanderiveavarietyofbenefitsfromfocusingonthepositiveaspects.Youmayhaveheardofpositivepsychology.Inessence,positivepsychologyisthescientificstudyoftheelements“thatmakelifemostworthliving”.Practicingitcanhelpyoutobuilduponyourstrengths,increaseyourself-esteem,andimproveyourrelationships. We’reallawarethatthesecureattachmentstyleistheonethat’stypicallyaspiredto–andthat’snotsurprising.Afterall,theyareemotionallybalanced,calm,andcomfortablewithintimacywithoutbecomingoverlyneedyorclingy.Incontrast,havingananxiousattachmentstyletendstobeseenasneurotic.Theseindividualssodesperatelywantapprovalthattheydrivethepeopleclosetothemaway.Butthisisn’talwaysthecase. 1.Workplacesuperpowersofanxiouspreoccupiedattachment Anxiousadultsmayunintentionallyactasworkplace“sentinels”;guardiansoftheteamwhosejobitistostandwatchandmakesurethatnothingbadhappens.Infact,astudybyEin-DorandTal(2012)showedthatpeoplewhoscoredhighlyonaquestionnairedesignedtoassessforanxiousattachmentweremorelikelytodetectandalertotherstothreats. Theseindividualsdidn’tdelaybeforereportingpotentialdanger,thussavingtheirworkplacehoursofhassleandcountlessfunds.Therefore,ananxiouslyattachedpersonmaybethe“scaredsavior”ofateam,buttheyareonethatmanyemployerswouldexpressextremegratitudefor! Becauseoftheirenthusiasmregardingopeninguptootherpeople,anxiouspeoplehavetheadvantageofbeingabletodealwithchallengingworkscenariosthrougheffectivecooperationskills,willingnesstoseeksupportfromothers,andtrustinotherpeople’sabilities. Let’sconsiderthisasaconstructivebalancebetweenthefightorflightresponsecharacteristics.Eachspecificattachmentstylegovernsourfightorflightresponse.Forexample,astressfulworksituationmayactivatetheattachmentsystemofanavoidantpersonandtriggertheirtendencytoavoiddifficultsituations.Thus,theymayreactwiththeflightresponse.Incontrast,whenanavoidantindividual’sattachmentsystemistriggered,theyaremorelikelytotryandfightforapositiveoutcome. Someonewithananxiousattachmenttendstobehyper-vigilantregardingtheiractionsandhowtheycouldpossiblybeupsettingforsomeoneelse.Forthisreason,theyareunlikelytobetroublemakersintheworkplace,andinstead,theyarelikelytoconstantlyevaluatetheirbehaviorandqualityofworktoavoidconfrontation.Althoughthismaybealittleexhaustingfortheindividual,thesetraitsareundoubtedlyhighlydesirableinaprofessionalcontext! Tosumitup,herearesomeofthesuperpowersthatananxiousemployeecanbringtotheirjob: LikelytodetectandalertotherstoworkplaceproblemsOpentoworkingandcommunicatingaspartofateamWillingtoseeksupportfromateamandtrustinothersLikelytoworkhardtoachieveapositiveoutcome CompliantintheworkplaceContinuouslyevaluatetheirperformanceandqualityofwork 2.RelationshipsuperpowersofAnxiouspreoccupiedattachment Anxiouspartnersarelikelytogivethemselvesovertorelationshipsentirely.Theyfallinloveeasilyandtendtoholdtheirpartnersinhighregard.Forthisreason,theyputalotofeffortanddedicationintotheirrelationships.Evenwhenarelationshipisintrouble,someonewithanxiousattachmentislesslikelytogiveuponitthantheotherattachmentstyles. Furthermore,ananxiousadultisnotlikelytorunawayfromintimacyoremotionalcloseness.Infact,theywelcomeitasitmakesthemfeelmoresecureintheirrelationship.Someonewiththisattachmentstylecanhighlyattunethemselvestotheirpartner’sneedsduetotheirhyper-vigilantbehaviors.Meaningthatwhentheirpartnerneedsemotionalorphysicalsupport,theyaresensitiveenoughtodetectwhattheyneed. Althoughpeoplewithanxiousattachmenttendtoseethemselvesinalessfavorablelight,theytendtoseetheirpartnersinalargelypositiveone.Thismeansthattheyaremorelikelytopromotethemandhelpthemtoseethemthroughtheireyes,aslovablepeople. Tosumitup,thesuperpowersofanxiousattachmentinrelationshipsare: DevotethemselvestorelationshipsfullyFallinloveeasilyWillingtoworkonrelationshipsHighlyattunedtotheirpartner’sneedsHelppartnerstoseethemselvespositively  3.Friendshipsuperpowersofanxiouspreoccupiedattachment Anxiousadultscraveclosenessinfriendships.Theymayevenexperienceasenseof“fallinginlove”withanewpersonintheirfriendshipgroup.Theymayseesomeonenewasexcitingandimpressive;therefore,theymaybeveryfriendlyandacceptingtoothersastheyarehopingtoforgeclosefriendships. Someonewiththisattachmentstyletendstobethecaretakerwithinafriendgroupastheycanbeverythoughtfulandsupportiveoftheirfriends.Therefore,otherpeoplefeelsafeturningtoananxiousadultwhentheyneedtodiscusspersonalproblems. Theanxiouspreoccupiedattachmentstylecorrelateswithfeelingsofinsecurityandinconsistency.Inotherwords,anxiouslyattachedadultswilllikelybeeagertokeepincontactwithothersandworkhardatmaintainingthefriendship.Theymayalsopeople-please,asitisessentialtothemthattheirfriendsarehappywiththem.Evenifthisdoessometimesmeanthatotherstakeadvantageoftheirkindandgenerousnature! Insummary,thesuperpowersofanxiouspreoccupiedattachmentinrelationshipsare: CraveclosenessandconnectednesswithfriendsCanbefriendlyandacceptingActasthecaretakerwithingroupsWorkhardatmaintainingfriendships TimetoReflect Howmuchdoyouagreewithhowfittingthesuperpowersforanxiouspreoccupiedattachmentareforyou?Attachmentstylesareoftenaspectrum,andtheamountthatyouidentifywiththesetraitsmightdifferfromsomeoneelse. Wouldyouliketofindoutwhetheryouidentifywiththesuperpowersofanotherattachmentstyle?Wehavethreemorepostsonattachmentstylesuperpowersforthosewhoaresecure,avoidantanddisorganized. References: Frankenhuis,W.E.(2010).Didinsecureattachmentstylesevolveforthebenefitofthegroup?FrontiersinPsychology,172. RelatedArticles AttachmentTheory AnxiousAttachment:Causes&Symptoms 2Jul2020 Lowself-esteem,strongfearofrejectionorabandonment,andclinginessinrelationshipsarecommonsignsofthisattachmentstyle. AttachmentTheory HowDoesAnxiousAmbivalentAttachmentDevelopinChildren? 25May2021 Anxiousambivalentattachmenttypicallydevelopsinchildrenwhosecaregivermayhaveactednurturingandresponsiveoneminuteandunavailableorinsensitivethenext. AttachmentTheory SelfRegulationStrategiesforAnxiousAttachmentTriggers 23Jul2021 Understandinghowtoselfregulateouremotionsandactionsisanessentialskilltodevelop.Ifyouareworkingtowards“earnedsecureattachment”,thinkofthisasamilestoneonthatpath. Getmentalhealthtipsstraighttoyourinbox Iwouldliketosignupforthenewsletter Iagreewithtermsandconditionsandprivacypolicy Δ Thiswebsiteusescookiestoimproveyourexperience.We’llassumeyou’reokwiththis,butyoucanopt-outifyouwish. 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