What is Attachment Theory? Bowlby's 4 Stages Explained

Attachment Theory describes Bowlby's 4 stages of attachment of the close relationships we form in early childhood and adulthood. Home Blog Store Team About Contact Login Relationships 6Aug2022 32 WhatisAttachmentTheory?Bowlby’s4StagesExplained 27Apr2018byCourtneyE.Ackerman,MA. Isitallyourmother’sfault? Nomatterwhatthe“it”refersto,SigmundFreudwouldhaveprobablysaidyestothatquestion. However,wenowknowalotmoreaboutpsychology,parenting,andhumanrelationshipsthanFreuddid. It’sclearnowthatnoteveryissuecanbetracedbacktoone’smother.Afterall,thereisanotherpersoninvolvedintheraising(oratleastthecreation)ofachild. Inaddition,therearemanyotherimportantpeopleinachild’slifewhoinfluencehimorher.Therearesiblings,grandparents,auntsanduncles,godparents,closefamilyfriends,nannies,daycareworkers,teachers,peers,andotherswhointeractwithachildonaregularbasis. Thequestionposedaboveistongue-in-cheek,butittouchesuponanimportantdiscussioninpsychology—whatinfluenceschildrentoturnoutthewaytheydo?Whataffectstheirabilitytoformmeaningful,satisfyingrelationshipswiththosearoundthem? Whatfactorscontributetotheirexperiencesofanxiety,avoidance,andfulfillmentwhenitcomestorelationships? Althoughpsychologistscanprettyconclusivelysaythatit’snotentirelythemother’sfaultoreventhefaultofbothparents,weknowthatachild’searlyexperienceswiththeirparentshaveaprofoundimpactontheirrelationshipskillsasadults. Muchoftheknowledgewehaveonthissubjecttodaycomesfromaconceptdevelopedinthe1950scalledattachmenttheory.Thistheorywillbethefocusofthisarticle:We’llexplorewhatitis,howitdescribesandexplainsbehavior,andwhatitsapplicationsareintherealworld. Beforeyoucontinue,wethoughtyoumightliketodownloadourthreePositiveRelationshipsExercisesforfree.Thesedetailed,science-basedexerciseswillhelpyouoryourclientsbuildhealthy,life-enrichingrelationships. ThisArticleContains: WhatisAttachmentTheory?ADefinition ResearchandStudies ErikErikson AttachmentTheoryinBabies,Infants,andEarlyChildhoodDevelopment AttachmentTheoryinAdults:CloseRelationships,Parenting,Love,andDivorce AttachmentTheoryinGriefandTrauma TheAttachmentTheoryTest UsingAttachmentTheoryintheClassroom(WorksheetandPDF) AttachmentTheoryinSocialWork CriticismsofAttachmentTheory RecommendedBooks,Articles,andEssays ATake-HomeMessage References WhatisAttachmentTheory?ADefinition ThepsychologicaltheoryofattachmentwasfirstdescribedbyJohnBowlby,apsychoanalystwhoresearchedtheeffectsofseparationbetweeninfantsandtheirparents(Fraley,2010). Bowlbyhypothesizedthattheextremebehaviorsinfantsengageintoavoidseparationfromaparentorwhenreconnectingwithaphysicallyseparatedparent—likecrying,screaming,andclinging—wereevolutionarymechanisms.Bowlbythoughtthesebehaviorshadpossiblybeenreinforcedthroughnaturalselectionandenhancedthechild’schancesofsurvival. Theseattachmentbehaviorsareinstinctiveresponsestotheperceivedthreatoflosingthesurvivaladvantagesthataccompanybeingcaredforandattendedtobytheprimarycaregiver(s).Sincetheinfantswhoengagedinthesebehaviorsweremorelikelytosurvive,theinstinctswerenaturallyselectedandreinforcedovergenerations. ThesebehaviorsmakeupwhatBowlbytermedan“attachmentbehavioralsystem,”thesystemthatguidesusinourpatternsandhabitsofformingandmaintainingrelationships(Fraley,2010). ResearchonBowlby’stheoryofattachmentshowedthatinfantsplacedinanunfamiliarsituationandseparatedfromtheirparentswillgenerallyreactinoneofthreewaysuponreunionwiththeparents: Secureattachment:Theseinfantsshoweddistressuponseparationbutsoughtcomfortandwereeasilycomfortedwhentheparentsreturned; Anxious-resistantattachment:Asmallerportionofinfantsexperiencedgreaterlevelsofdistressand,uponreunitingwiththeparents,seemedbothtoseekcomfortandtoattemptto“punish”theparentsforleaving. Avoidantattachment:Infantsinthethirdcategoryshowednostressorminimalstressuponseparationfromtheparentsandeitherignoredtheparentsuponreunitingoractivelyavoidedtheparents (Fraley,2010). Inlateryears,researchersaddedafourthattachmentstyletothislist:thedisorganized-disorientedattachmentstyle,whichreferstochildrenwhohavenopredictablepatternofattachmentbehaviors(Kennedy&Kennedy,2004). Itmakesintuitivesensethatachild’sattachmentstyleislargelyafunctionofthecaregivingthechildreceivesinhisorherearlyyears.Thosewhoreceivedsupportandlovefromtheircaregiversarelikelytobesecure,whilethosewhoexperiencedinconsistencyornegligencefromtheircaregiversarelikelytofeelmoreanxietysurroundingtheirrelationshipwiththeirparents. However,attachmenttheorytakesitonestepfurther,applyingwhatweknowaboutattachmentinchildrentorelationshipsweengageinasadults.Theserelationships(particularlyintimateand/orromanticrelationships)arealsodirectlyrelatedtoourattachmentstylesaschildrenandthecarewereceivedfromourprimarycaregivers(Firestone,2013). Thedevelopmentofthistheorygivesusaninterestinglookintothestudyofchilddevelopment. BowlbyandAinsworth:TheHistoryandPsychologyofAttachmentTheory Bowlby’sinterestinchilddevelopmenttracesbacktohisfirstexperiencesoutofcollege,inwhichhevolunteeredataschoolformaladjustedchildren.AccordingtoBowlby,twochildrensparkedhiscuriosityanddrivethatlaidthefoundationsofattachmenttheory. Therewasanisolatedanddistantteenagerwhohadnostablemotherfigureinhislifeandhadrecentlybeenexpelledfromhisschoolforstealing,andananxious7-or8-year-oldboywhofollowedBowlbywhereverhewent,earninghimselfareputationasBowlby’s“shadow”(Bretherton,1992). Throughhisworkwithchildren,Bowlbydevelopedastrongbeliefintheimpactoffamilyexperiencesonchildren’semotionalandbehavioralwellbeing. Earlyoninhiscareer,Bowlbyproposedthatpsychoanalystsworkingwithchildrenshouldtakeaholisticperspective,consideringchildren’slivingenvironments,families,andotherexperiencesinadditiontoanybehaviorsexhibitedbythechildrenthemselves. Thisideagrewintoastrategyofhelpingchildrenbyhelpingtheirparents,agenerallyeffectivestrategygiventheimportanceofthechild’srelationshipswiththeirparents(orothercaregivers). AtroughlythesametimeBowlbywascreatingthefoundationsforhistheoryonattachment,MaryAinsworthwasfinishinghergraduatedegreeandstudyingsecuritytheory,whichproposedthatchildrenneedtodevelopasecuredependenceontheirparentsbeforeventuringoutintounfamiliarsituations. In1950,thetwocrossedpathswhenAinsworthtookapositioninBowlby’sresearchunitattheTavistockClinicinLondon.Herinitialresponsibilitiesincludedanalyzingrecordsofchildren’sbehavior,whichinspiredhertoconductherownstudiesonchildrenintheirnaturalsettings. Throughseveralpapers,numerousresearchstudies,andtheoriesthatwerediscarded,altered,orcombined,BowlbyandAinsworthdevelopedandprovidedevidenceforattachmenttheory. Theirswasamorerigorousexplanationanddescriptionofattachmentbehaviorthananyothersonthetopicatthetime,includingthosethathadgrownoutofFreud’sworkandthosethatweredevelopedindirectoppositiontoFreud’sideas(Bretherton,1992). ResearchandStudies Therewereseveralgroundbreakingstudiesthatcontributedtothedevelopmentofattachmenttheoryorprovidedevidenceforitsvalidity,includingthestudydescribedearlierinwhichinfantswereseparatedfromtheirprimarycaregiversandtheirbehaviorwasobservedtofallintoa“style”ofattachment. Furtherfindingsonemotionalattachmentcamefromasurprisingplace:rhesusmonkeys. TheHarlowExperiments Inthe1950s,HarryHarlowwasconductingexperimentsonloveandrelationshipsbetweenparentsandchildren,specificallymonkeyparentsandchildren. Hisworkshowedthatmotherlylovewasemotionalratherthanphysiological,thatthecapacityforattachmentisheavilydependentuponexperiencesinearlychildhood,andthatthiscapacitywasunlikelytochangemuchafteritwas“set”(Herman,2012). Harlowdiscoveredtheseinterestingfindingsbyconductingtwogroundbreakingexperiments. Inthefirstexperiment,Harlowseparatedinfantmonkeysfromtheirmothersafewhoursafterbirth.Eachmonkeywasinsteadraisedbytwoinanimatesurrogate“mothers.”Bothprovidedtheinfantmonkeyswiththemilktheyneededtosurvive,butonewasmadeoutofwiremeshwhiletheotherwaswiremeshcoveredwithsoftterrycloth. Themonkeyswhoweregiventhefreedomtochoosewhichmothertoassociatewithalmostalwayschosetotakemilkfromtheterrycloth“mother.”Thisfindingshowedthatinfantattachmentisnotsimplyamatterofwheretheygettheirmilk—otherfactorsareatplay. Forhissecondexperiment,Harlowmodifiedhisoriginalsetup.Themonkeysweregiveneitherthebarewiremeshsurrogatemotherortheterryclothmother,bothofwhichprovidedthemilkthemonkeysneededtogrow. Bothgroupsofmonkeyssurvivedandthrivedphysically,buttheydisplayedextremelydifferentbehavioraltendencies.Thosewithaterryclothmotherreturnedtothesurrogatewhenpresentedwithstrange,loudobjects,whilethosewithawiremeshmotherwouldthrowthemselvestothefloor,clutchthemselves,rockbackandforth,oreven“screaminterror.” Thisprovidedaclearindicationthatemotionalattachmentininfancy,gainedthroughcuddling,affectedthemonkey’slaterresponsestostressandemotionregulation(Herman,2012). Thesetwoexperimentslaidthefoundationsforfurtherworkonattachmentinchildrenandtheimpactsofattachmentexperiencesinlaterlife. ErikErikson ErikErikson’sresearchtrajectorywasparalleltoBowlbyandAinsworth’sbutcamefromadifferentperspective. Erikson’sworkwasbasedonFreud’soriginalpersonalitytheoriesanddrewfromhisideaoftheego.However,EriksonplacedmoreimportanceoncontextfromcultureandsocietythanonFreud’sfocusontheconflictbetweentheidandthesuperego. Inaddition,hisstagesofdevelopmentarebasedonhowchildrensocializeandhowitaffectstheirsenseofselfratherthanonsexualdevelopment. TheeightstagesofpsychosocialdevelopmentaccordingtoEriksonare: Infancy—Trustvs.Mistrust:Inthisstage,infantsrequireagreatdealofattentionandcomfortfromtheirparents,leadingthemtodeveloptheirfirstsenseoftrust(or,insomecases,mistrust); EarlyChildhood—Autonomyvs.ShameandDoubt:Toddlersandveryyoungchildrenarebeginningtoasserttheirindependenceanddeveloptheiruniquepersonality,makingtantrumsanddefiancecommon; PreschoolYears—Initiativevs.Guilt:Childrenatthisstagebeginlearningaboutsocialrolesandnorms.Theirimaginationwilltakeoffatthispoint,andthedefianceandtantrumsofthepreviousstagewilllikelycontinue.Thewaytrustedadultsinteractwiththechildwillencouragehimorhertoactindependentlyortodevelopasenseofguiltaboutanyinappropriateactions; SchoolAge—Industry(Competence)vs.Inferiority:Atthisstage,thechildisbuildingimportantrelationshipswithpeersandislikelybeginningtofeelthepressureofacademicperformance.Mentalhealthissuesmaybeginatthisstage,includingdepression,anxiety,ADHD,andotherproblems. Adolescence—Identityvs.RoleConfusion:Theadolescentisreachingnewheightsofindependenceandisbeginningtoexperimentandputtogetherhisorheridentity.Problemswithcommunicationandsuddenemotionalandphysicalchangesarecommonatthisstage(Wells,Sueskind,&Alcamo,2017). YoungAdulthood—Intimacyvs.Isolation:Atthisstage(ages18-40,approximately),theindividualwillbeginsharingwithothersmore,includingpeopleoutsideothefamily.Iftheindividualissuccessfulinthisstageofdevelopment,heorshewillbuildsatisfyingrelationshipsthathaveasenseofcommitment,safety,andcare;ifnot,theymayfearcommitmentandexperienceisolation,loneliness,anddepression(McLeod,2017). MiddleAdulthood—Generativityvs.Stagnation:Inthepenultimatestage(ages40-65,approximately),theindividualislikelyestablishedinhisorhercareer,relationship,andfamily.Iftheindividualisnotestablishedandcontributingtosociety,heorshemayfeelstagnantandunproductive. LateAdulthood—EgoIntegrityvs.Despair: Finally,lateadulthood(ages65andabove)usuallybringsreducedproductivity,whichcaneitherbeembracedasarewardforone’scontributionsorbemetwithguiltordissatisfaction.Successfullynavigatingthisstagewillprotecttheindividualfromfeelingdepressedorhopeless,andhelptheindividualcultivatewisdom(McLeod,2017). Althoughitdoesnotmapcompletelyontoattachmenttheory,Erikson’sfindingsareclearlyrelatedtotheattachmentstylesandbehaviorsBowlby,Ainsworth,andHarlowidentified. AttachmentTheoryinBabies,Infants,andEarlyChildhoodDevelopment AccordingtoBowlbyandAinsworth,attachmentswiththeprimarycaregiverdevelopduringthefirst18monthsorsoofthechild’slife,startingwithinstinctualbehaviorslikecryingandclinging(Kennedy&Kennedy,2004).Thesebehaviorsarequicklydirectedatoneorafewcaregiversinparticular,andby7or8monthsold,childrenusuallystartprotestingagainstthecaregiver(s)leavingandgrievefortheirabsence. Oncechildrenreachthetoddlerstage,theybeginforminganinternalworkingmodeloftheirattachmentrelationships.Thisinternalworkingmodelprovidestheframeworkforthechild’sbeliefsabouttheirownself-worthandhowmuchtheycandependonotherstomeettheirneeds. InBowlbyandAinsworth’sview,theattachmentstylesthatchildrenformbasedontheirearlyinteractionswithcaregiversformacontinuumofemotionregulation,withanxious-avoidantattachmentatoneendandanxious-resistantattheother. Secureattachmentfallsatthemidpointofthisspectrum,betweenoverlyorganizedstrategiesforcontrollingandminimizingemotionsandtheuncontrolled,disorganized,andineffectivelymanagedemotions. Themostrecentlyaddedclassification,disorganized-disoriented,maydisplaystrategiesandbehaviorsfromallacrossthespectrum,butgenerally,theyarenoteffectiveincontrollingtheiremotionsandmayhaveoutburstsofangeroraggression(Kennedy&Kennedy,2004). Researchhasshownthattherearemanybehaviorsinadditiontoemotionregulationthatrelatestoachild’sattachmentstyle.Amongotherfindings,thereisevidenceofthefollowingconnections: SecureAttachment:Thesechildrenaregenerallymorelikelytoseeothersassupportiveandhelpfulandthemselvesascompetentandworthyofrespect.Theyrelatepositivelytoothersanddisplayresilience,engageincomplexplayandaremoresuccessfulintheclassroomandininteractionswithotherchildren.Theyarebetterattakingtheperspectivesofothersandhavemoretrustinothers; Anxious-AvoidantAttachment:Childrenwithananxious-avoidantattachmentstylearegenerallylesseffectiveinmanagingstressfulsituations.Theyarelikelytowithdrawandresistseekinghelp,whichinhibitsthemfromformingsatisfyingrelationshipswithothers.Theyshowmoreaggressionandantisocialbehavior,likelyingandbullying,andtheytendtodistancethemselvesfromotherstoreduceemotionalstress; Anxious-ResistantAttachment:Thesechildrenareontheoppositeendofthespectrumfromanxious-avoidantchildren.Theylikelylackself-confidenceandstickclosetotheirprimarycaregivers.Theymaydisplayexaggeratedemotionalreactionsandkeeptheirdistancefromtheirpeers,leadingtosocialisolation. DisorganizedAttachment:Childrenwithadisorganizedattachmentstyleusuallyfailtodevelopanorganizedstrategyforcopingwithseparationdistress,andtendtodisplayaggression,disruptivebehaviors,andsocialisolation.Theyaremorelikelytoseeothersasthreatsthansourcesofsupport,andthusmayswitchbetweensocialwithdrawalanddefensivelyaggressivebehavior(Kennedy&Kennedy,2004). Itiseasytoseefromthesedescriptionsofbehaviorsandemotionregulationhowattachmentstyleinchildhoodcanleadtorelationshipproblemsinadulthood. AttachmentTheoryinAdults:CloseRelationships,Parenting,Love,andDivorce Indeed,itisclearhowtheseattachmentstylesinchildhoodleadtoattachmenttypesinadulthood.Belowisanexplanationofthefourattachmenttypesinadultrelationships. Examples:TheTypes,Styles,andStages(Secure,Avoidant,Ambivalent,andDisorganized) Theadultattachmentstylesfollowthesamegeneralpatterndescribedabove: SecureAttachment:Theseadultsaremorelikelytobesatisfiedwiththeirrelationships,feelingsecureandconnectedtotheirpartnerswithoutfeelingtheneedtobetogetherallthetime.Theirrelationshipsarelikelytofeaturehonesty,support,independence,anddeepemotionalconnections. Dismissive-Avoidant(orAnxious-Avoidant)Attachment:Oneofthetwotypesofadultavoidantattachments,peoplewiththisattachmentstylegenerallykeeptheirdistancefromothers.Theymayfeelthattheydon’tneedhumanconnectiontosurviveorthrive,andinsistonmaintainingtheirindependenceandisolationfromothers.Theseindividualsareoftenableto“shutdown”emotionallywhenapotentiallyhurtfulscenarioarises,suchasaseriousargumentwiththeirpartnerorathreattothecontinuanceoftheirrelationship. Anxious-Preoccupied(orAnxious-Resistant)Attachment:Thosewhoformlesssecurebondswiththeirpartnersmayfeeldesperateforloveoraffectionandfeelthattheirpartnermust“complete”themorfixtheirproblems.Whiletheylongforsafetyandsecurityintheirromanticrelationships,theymayalsobeactinginwaysthatpushtheirpartnerawayratherthaninvitethemin.Thebehavioralmanifestationsoftheirfearscanincludebeingclingy,demanding,jealous,oreasilyupsetbysmallissues. Fearful-Avoidant(orDisorganized)Attachment:Thesecondtypeofadultavoidantattachmentmanifestsasambivalenceratherthanisolation.Peoplewiththisattachmentstylegenerallytrytoavoidtheirfeelingsbecauseitiseasytogetoverwhelmedbythem.Theymaysufferfromunpredictableorabruptmoodswingsandfeargettinghurtbyaromanticpartner.Theseindividualsaresimultaneouslydrawntoapartnerorpotentialpartnerandfearfulofgettingtoclose.Unsurprisingly,thisstylemakesitdifficulttoformandmaintainmeaningful,healthyrelationshipswithothers(Firestone,2013). Eachofthesestylesshouldbethoughtofasacontinuumofattachmentbehaviors,ratherthanaspecific“type”ofperson.Someonewithagenerallysecureattachmentstylemayonoccasiondisplaybehaviorsmoresuitedtotheothertypes,orsomeonewithadismissive-avoidantstylemayformasecurebondwithaparticularperson. Therefore,these“types”shouldbeconsideredawaytodescribeandunderstandanindividual’sbehaviorratherthananexactdescriptionofsomeone’spersonality. Basedonaperson’sattachmentstyle,thewayheorsheapproachesintimaterelationships,marriage,andparentingcanvarywidely. Thenumberofwaysinwhichthistheorycanbeappliedorusedtoexplainbehavioriscompoundedandexpandedbythefactthatrelationshipsrequiretwo(ormore)people;anyattachmentbehaviorsthatanindividualdisplayswillimpactandbeinfluencedbytheattachmentbehaviorsofotherpeople. Giventhehugevarietyofindividuals,behaviors,andrelationships,itisnotsurprisingthatthereissomuchconflictandconfusion. Itisalsonotsurprising,althoughnolessunfortunate,thatmanyrelationshipsendupindivorceordissolution,aneventthatmaycontinueanunhealthycycleofattachmentinthechildrenoftheseunions. AttachmentTheoryinGriefandTrauma Speakingofunfortunatesituations,attachmenttheoryalsohasapplicationsintheunderstandingofthe griefandtraumaassociatedwithloss. AlthoughyoumaybemostfamiliarwithKübler-Ross’sFiveStagesofGrief,theywereprecededbyBowlby’sFourStages.DuringBowlby’sworkonattachment,heandhiscolleagueColinMurrayParkesnoticedfourstagesofgrief: ShockandNumbness:Inthisinitialphase,thebereavedmayfeelthatthelossisnotreal,orthatitissimplyimpossibletoaccept.Heorshemayexperiencephysicaldistressandwillbeunabletounderstandandcommunicatehisorheremotions. YearningandSearching:Inthisphase,thebereavedisveryawareofthevoidinhisorherlifeandmaytrytofillthatvoidwithsomethingorsomeoneelse.Heorshestillidentifiesstronglyandmaybepreoccupiedwiththedeceased. DespairandDisorganization:Thebereavednowacceptsthatthingshavechangedandcannotgobacktothewaytheywerebefore.Heorshemayalsoexperiencedespair,hopelessness,andanger,aswellasquestioningandanintensefocusonmakingsenseofthesituation.Heorshemightwithdrawfromothersinthisphase. ReorganizationandRecovery:Inthefinalphase,thebereavedperson’sfaithinlifemaystarttocomeback.Heorshewillstarttorebuildandestablishnewgoals,newpatterns,andnewhabitsinlife.Thebereavedwillbegintotrustagain,andgriefwillrecedetothebackofhisorhermindinsteadofstayingfrontandcenter(Williams&Haley,2017). Ofcourse,one’sattachmentstylewillinfluencehowgriefisexperiencedaswell.Forexample,someonewhoissecuremaymovethroughthestagesfairlyquicklyorskipsomealtogether,whilesomeonewhoisanxiousoravoidantmaygetstuckononeofthestages. Weallexperiencegriefdifferently,butviewingtheseexperiencesthroughthelensofattachmenttheorycanbringnewperspectiveandinsightintoouruniquegrievingprocessesandwhysomeofusget“stuck”afteraloss. TheAttachmentTheoryTest Ifyou’reinterestedinlearningaboutyourattachmentstyle,therearemanytests,scales,andquestionnairesoutavailableforyoutotake. Feeny,Noller,andHanrahandevelopedtheOriginalAttachmentThree-CategoryMeasurein1987totestrespondents’adultattachmentstyle.Itcontainsonlythreeitemsandisverysimple,butitcanstillgiveyouagoodideaofwhichcategoryyoufallinto:avoidant,anxious/ambivalent,orsecure.Youcancompletethemeasureyourselforreadmoreaboutitonpage3of thisPDF. BartholomewandHorowitz’sRelationshipsQuestionnaireaddedtoTheThree-CategoryMeasurebyexpandingittoincludethedismissive-avoidantcategory.YoucanfinditonthesamePDFastheThree-CategoryMeasure,startingonpage3. Fraley,Waller,andBrennan’sExperiencesinCloseRelationshipsQuestionnaire-Revised(ECR-R)isa32-itemquestionnairethatgivesresultsmeasuredbytwosubscalesrelatedtoattachment:avoidanceandanxiety(Fraley,Waller,&Brennan,2000).Itemsareratedonascalefrom1(stronglydisagree)to7(stronglyagree).YoucanfindthisquestionnaireonthefinalthreepagesofthePDFmentionedabove. Inadditiontothesescales,thereareseverallessrigorousattachmentstyleteststhatcanhelpyoulearnaboutyourownstyleofconnectingwithothers.Thesearen’tinstrumentsoftenusedinempiricalresearch,buttheycanbehelpfultoolsforlearningmoreaboutyourselfandyourattachmentstyle. DianePooleHellerdevelopedanAttachmentStylesTest,whichcontains45itemsratedonathree-pointscalefrom“Rarely/Never”to“Usually/Often.”Youcanfindithere,althoughaftercompletingityoumustenteranemailtoreceiveyourresults. TheRelationshipAttachmentStyleTestisa50-itemtesthostedonPsychologyToday’swebsite.Itcoversthefourattachmenttypesnotedearlier(Secure,Anxious-Ambivalent,Dismissive-Avoidant,Fearful-Avoidant)aswellasDependentandCodependentattachmentstyles. Ifyouareinterestedintakingthistest,youcanfinditatthislink.However,beawarethatwhileyoureceiveafree“snapshotreport”attheend,youwillneedtopaytoseeyourfullresults. UsingAttachmentTheoryintheClassroom(WorksheetandPDF) Becauseofitsimportancetochilddevelopment,attachmenttheoryhasmajorimplicationsfortheclassroom. Oneofthewaysinwhichtheprinciplesandconceptsofattachmenttheoryhavebeeneffectivelyappliedtoteachingisthepracticeofemotioncoaching. Emotioncoachingisabouthelpingchildrentobecomeawareoftheiremotionsandtomanagetheirownfeelingsparticularlyduringinstancesof‘misbehavior.’Itenablespractitionerstocreateanethosofpositivelearningbehaviorandtohavetheconfidencetode-escalatesituationswhenbehaviorischallenging”(NationalCollegeforTeachingandLeadership,2014). Emotioncoachingismoreaboutsupportingchildreninlearningaboutandregulatingtheirownemotionsandbehaviorthanitisabout“coaching”inthetraditionalsense.Inemotioncoaching,teachersarenotrequired—orevenencouraged—topromoteproperbehaviorthroughrewardsorpunishments. Instead,emotioncoachinginvolves: Teachingstudentsabouttheworldof“inthemoment”emotion; Showingstudentsstrategiesfordealingwithemotionalupsanddowns; Empathizingwithandacceptingnegativeorunpleasantemotionsasnormal,butnotacceptingnegativebehavior; Usingmomentsofchallengingbehaviorasopportunitiesforteaching; Buildingtrustingandrespectfulrelationshipswiththestudents(NationalCollegeforTeachingandLeadership,2014). AccordingtoattachmenttheoryexpertDr.JohnGottman,therearefivestepstoemotioncoaching,andtheycanbepracticedbyparents,teachers,oranysignificantadultinachild’slife: Tunein:Noticeorbecomeawareofyourownandthechild’semotions.Makesureyouarecalmenoughtopracticeemotioncoaching,otherwise,youmightwanttogivebothofyouaquickbreather; Connect:Usethissituationasanopportunityforyoutopracticeandforthechildtolearn.Stateobjectively(Thisisimportant!)whatemotionsyouthinkthechildisexperiencingtohelpthemconnecttheiremotionstotheirbehavior; AcceptandListen:Practiceempathy.Putyourselfinthechild’sshoes,thinkaboutasituationwhenyoufeltasimilaremotion,andtrytorememberwhatitfeltlike; Reflect:Onceeveryoneiscalm,gobackoverwhatthechildsaidordid,mentioningonlywhatyousaw,heard,orunderstandofthesituation.Reflectonwhathappenedandwhyithappened; EndwithProblemSolving/Choices/SettingLimits:Wheneverpossible,trytoendthesituationbyguidingorinvolvingthechildinproblem-solving(SomersetChildren&YoungPeople,n.d.). Tolearnmoreaboutemotioncoachingandimproveyourskillsasaparentorteacher,trythefollowingactivity. WhatWouldanEmotionCoachDo? Thisshort,two-pageactivityfromtheSomersetEmotionCoachingProjectcanhelpyouenhanceyourunderstandingofwhatemotioncoachingis—andwhatitisnot. Therearefivescenariospresentedalongwithsixpotentialresponses.Yourtaskistoreadthescenarioanddecidewhichresponse(s)is/aretheappropriateemotioncoachingresponse(s). Thefirstscenariois:“Angrypupilovernotwantingtoattendacompulsoryrevisionsession.” Youroptionsinclude: Getcrosswiththepupilforthebadbehavior; Tellthepupiltheywillhavetocompleteanextrasessionduetothebadbehavior; Helpthepupiltothinkaboutwhattheycandoabouttheproblem; Tellthepupilnottomakeabigdealaboutstayingafterschool; Validatethepupil’sexpressionofangerandfrustration; Soothethepupil. Thisisanexcellentactivitytodoingroups,asyoucandiscusseachoptionwithothersandheardifferentperspectivesfromyourown.Inadditiontoidentifyingtheemotioncoachingresponse(s),youcanalsodiscusswhichoptionsaredismissive,avoidant,etc. Youcanseetherestofthescenariosandtryyourhandatthisactivitybyclickinghere(anautomaticdownloadwillstartwhenyouclickonthelink). EmotionCoachingScripts AnothergreatresourcefromtheSomersetEmotionCoachingProject,thisactivitygivesyouachancetopracticebrainstormingemotioncoaching-appropriateresponses. Asanaddedbonus,youcanusethescriptsyoudeveloptoguideyouthenexttimeyouencounterasituationlikethosedescribed. Therearesixscenarioswhichyouareinstructedtocreateascriptfor: Apupilarriveslatetoclass.Sherefusestocommunicatewithyouandsays“Don’tevenstart,justleavemealone”; Ayoungpersonrefusestositbyherusualfriendsatayouthcenterandsaysthattheyhavebeensayingunkindcommentsabouthersize; Aboyregularlyfailstocompleteworkindependentlyandwilloftensitpassivelyandcontributelittle.Herarelypresentswithdisruptivebehaviorbutsimplycompletesverylittlework.Heappearsisolatedfromhispeers; Anurserychildiscryingatdrop-offtimeandisclingingtoherparentwhohastogotowork; Anaggressive,confrontationalparentisannoyedbecauseshe’sbeenaskedtocomeinandtalkaboutherson’sbehavior.Sheapproachesyouandstartstheconversationbysaying,“You’realwayshavingagoatus”; Duringrecess,agroupofyoungboyswasfightingandoneofthemwashurt(notseriously).Youapproachthemandtheyalllookatyouwithworriedexpressions. Foreachscenario,theinstructionsencourageyouto: Recognizetheemotionthechildisdisplaying; Validatethatemotion; Labeltheemotionthechildisfeeling; Empathizewiththechild; Setlimits,ifappropriate,andproblem-solve. Completingthisworksheetprovidesyouwithanexcellentopportunitytothink,plan,andprepareforeffectiveemotioncoaching.Youcandownloadthisactivityforyourownusehere(anautomaticdownloadwillstartwhenyouclickonthelink). Ifyou’reinterestedinlearningmoreaboutapplyingattachmenttheorytoteaching,checkoutLouisCozolino’sbookAttachment-BasedTeaching:CreatingaTribalClassroom.Heputsforthasimplebutpotentiallygame-changingidea:Relationshipsarethekeytobetterperformanceratherthanrigidlystructuredcurricula. Inaddition,ourarticleAttachmentStylesinTherapy:Worksheets&Handoutsprovidesusefulworksheetspertainingattachmentstyles. AttachmentTheoryinSocialWork Emotioncoachingcanalsobeusedbysocialworkers,tosomeextent.However,theapplicationofattachmenttheorytosocialworkismoresignificantinthethreekeymessagesthatitespouses: Itisvitalforsocialworkerstoofferchildrenandfamiliesasafehavenandsecurebase.Thisdoesnotmeanfamiliesshouldbeforevercomfortableandcometodependonthesocialworker,butfamiliesshouldknowasocialworkercanprovideasafeplacewhentheyarestrugglingaswellassupportformovingforwardandoutward; Socialworkersmustbeawareofchildren’s(andtheirfamilies’)innerexperiencesandpracticementalization,or“bringingtheinsideout.”Oneofthemostimportantfactorsinfindinghealingandimprovingfamilyrelationsistoensurethatparentshaveanideaofwhatisgoingonintheirchildren’sheads,includinghowtheyfeelandthinkabouttheirparents; Amongthemosteffectivetoolsinasocialworker’stoolboxisthepracticeofrecordingparentsastheyinteractwiththeirchildandusingthevideostocoachtheparent.Valuableinsightscanbefoundinwatchingoneselfparenting,andthesocialworkercanprovideinthemomentcoaching,offeringpraisefortheparents’strengthsalongsidesuggestionsforimprovement(Shemmings,2015). Ofcourse,therearemanywaystoapplyattachmenttheorytoworkingwithchildren,especiallythosewhoareinthemidstoffamilycrises.However,ifthesethreepointsareattendedto,you’llhavethemostimportantbasescovered. Forsocialworkerswhoworkwithadults,therearesomedifferentstrategiesandkeypointstokeepinmind,specifically: Rememberthatattachmenttheoryappliesthroughouttheentirerangeoflife,andmanybehaviorsandprocessesareshapedbyearlyattachment,includingstayingsafe,seekingcomfort,regulatingproximitytotheattachmentfigure,andseekingpredictability; Keepinmindthatattachmentpatternsarenotbasedonafewkeymoments,butonthousandsofmomentsthroughoutearlylife,andhowanattachmentfigureresponds(ordoesnotrespond)setsatemplateforthechild’sattachmentstyleinthefuture.Thistemplateaffectshowthechildrecognizesandrespondstotheirownemotionsandhowtheyinteractwithattachmentfigures; Thisearlytemplatebecomesdeeplyembeddedinthebrainandthereforehasasignificantimpactonourabilitytoregulateouremotionsandconnectandrelatetoothersinadulthood.Thiscanleadanadultwhowasabusedinchildhoodtofailtorecognizethattheyarebeingabusedintheirintimaterelationship,orevencausethemtofindcomfortandstabilityinthepredictabilityoftheirsituation; Rememberthatattachmentbehaviorsareadaptivetothecontextinwhichtheywereformed.Habitsandbehaviorsthatareadaptiveinchildhood,inanevolutionarysenseatleast,maybecomemaladaptiveandharmfulinadulthood; Finally,socialworkersshouldneverthinkthattheyare“treating”asetofbehaviorsandmustrecognizethattheindividual’sstrategieswereformedforareasonandlikelyhelpedhimorhersurviveadifficultsituationinchildhood.Theroleofasocialworkeristohelpclientsavoidoverapplyingthosestrategiesandtoguidetheminaddingeffective,newstrategiestotheirtoolboxes(Hardy,2016). CriticismsofAttachmentTheory Aswithanypopulartheoryinpsychology,thereareseveralcriticismsthathavebeenraisedagainstit. Chiefamongthemarethefollowingcriticisms: OveremphasisonNurture:ThiscriticismstemsfrompsychologistJ.R.Harris,whobelievesthatparentsdonothaveasmuchofaninfluenceovertheirchild’spersonalityorcharacterasmostpeoplebelieve.Shenotesthatmuchofone’spersonalityisdeterminedbygeneticsratherthanenvironment(Harris,1998;Lee,2003). LimitationsoftheModel: Thestressfulsituationcriticismofattachmenttheory’slimitationsnotesthatthemodelwasbasedonachild’sreactionsinmomentary,stressfulsituations(beingseparatedfromone’sparent),anddoesnotprovideanyinsightintohowchildrenandparentsinteractinnon-stressfulsituations; Further,theearlymodeldidnottakeintoconsiderationthefactthatchildrencanhavedifferentkindsofattachmentstodifferentpeople;theattachmentwiththemothermaynotrepresenttheattachmentsformedwithothers; Finally,themotherwasviewedastheautomaticprimaryattachmentfigureintheearlymodel,whenthefather,stepparent,sibling,grandparent,aunt,orunclemaybethepersonthatthechildconnectsmoststronglywith(Field,1996;Lee,2003). Althoughsomeofthesecriticismshavefadedovertimeasthetheoryisinjectedwithnewevidenceandupdatedconcepts,itisusefultolookatanytheorywithacriticaleye. RecommendedBooks,Articles,andEssays Afewofthemostpopularbooksonattachmenttheorycanbefoundbelow: Attached:TheNewScienceofAdultAttachmentandHowItCanHelpYouFind—andKeep—LovebyAmirLevineandRachelHeller(Amazon); AttachmentinPsychotherapybyDavidJ.Wallin (Amazon); HandbookofAttachment:Theory,Research,andClinicalApplications(3rdEdition)byJudeCassidyandPhillipR.Shaver (Amazon); TheoriesofAttachment:AnIntroductiontoBowlby,Ainsworth,Gerber,Brazelton,Kennell,&KlausbyCarolGarhartMooney (Amazon); InsecureinLove:HowAnxiousAttachmentCanMakeYouFeelJealous,Needy,andWorriedandWhatYouCanDoAboutItbyLeslieBecker-Phelps (Amazon); WiredforLove:HowUnderstandingYourPartner’sBrainandAttachmentStyleCanHelpYouDefuseConflictandBuildaSecureRelationshipbyDr.StanTatkin (Amazon). Therearealsoseveralgreatwebsitesthathostinsightfulessaysandinformativearticlesaboutattachmenttheoryanditsapplications,including: www.communitycare.co.uk:TheCommunityCarewebsitecallsitself“Theheartofyoursocialcarecareer”andoffersmanyinterestingpiecesonsocialwork,attachmenttheory,andworkingwithchildrenandfamilieswhoarestruggling. “AttachmentTheory”bySaulMcLeod: Thisarticleprovidesanexcellent,briefintroductiontoattachmenttheory,aswellasinformationontheHarlowexperiments,thestagesofattachment,andLorenz’simprintingtheory. “ABriefOverviewofAdultAttachmentTheoryandResearch”byR.ChrisFraley: ThispiecefromattachmenttheoryexpertR.ChrisFraleyalsogivesreadersathoroughandacademicintroductiontofamiliarizethemwiththetheory. “AttachmentStylesatWork:Measurement,CollegialRelationships,andBurnout”byMichaelP.Leiter,ArlaDay,andLisaPrice: Thisarticle,publishedinthejournalBurnoutResearchin2015,divesintotheapplicationsofattachmenttheoryintheworkplace,asubjectwedidn’texploreinthispiece.Theauthorssharesomeinterestinginsightsabouthowone’sattachmentstyleaffectstheirrelationshipsandperformanceintheworkplace. ATake-HomeMessage Thispiecetackledattachmenttheory,atheorydevelopedbyJohnBowlbyinthe1950sandexpandeduponbyMaryAinsworthandcountlessotherresearchersinlateryears.Thetheoryhelpsexplainhowourchildhoodrelationshipswithourcaregiverscanhaveaprofoundimpactonourrelationshipswithothersasadults. Althoughattachmenttheorymaynotbeabletoexplaineverypeculiarityofpersonality,itlaysthefoundationsforasolidunderstandingofyourselfandthosearoundyouwhenitcomestoconnectingandinteractingwithothers. Whatdoyouthinkaboutattachmenttheory?Doyouthinkthereareattachmentstylesnotcoveredbythefourcategories?Arethereanyothercriticismsofattachmenttheoryyouthinkarevalidandworthyofdiscussion?We’dlovetohearyourthoughtsinthecommentsection. Wehopeyouenjoyedreadingthisarticle.Don’tforgettodownloadourthreePositiveRelationshipsExercisesforfree. References Bretherton,I.(1992).TheoriginsofAttachmentTheory:JohnBowlbyandMaryAinsworth.DevelopmentalPsychology,28,759-775. Cherry,K.(2018).ThestoryofBowlby,Ainsworth,andAttachmentTheory:Theimportanceofearlyemotionalbonds.Retrievedfromhttps://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-attachment-theory-2795337 Field,T.(1996).Attachmentandseparationinyoungchildren.AnnualReviewofPsychology,47,541-561. Firestone,L.(2013).Howyourattachmentstyleimpactsyourrelationship. Retrievedfromhttps://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/compassion-matters/201307/how-your-attachment-style-impacts-your-relationship Fraley,R.C.(2010).Abriefoverviewofadultattachmenttheoryandresearch.Retrievedfromhttps://internal.psychology.illinois.edu/~rcfraley/attachment.htm Hardy,R.(2016).Tipsonapplyingattachmenttheoryinsocialworkwithadults.Retrievedfromhttp://www.communitycare.co.uk/2016/12/06/attachment-theory-social-work-adults/ Harris,J.R.(1998).Thenurtureassumption:Whyourchildrenturnoutthewaytheydo.NewYork,NY:FreePress. Herman,E.(2012).HarryF.Harlow,monkeyloveexperiments.Retrievedfromhttp://pages.uoregon.edu/adoption/studies/HarlowMLE.htm Kennedy,J.H.,&Kennedy,C.E.(2004).Attachmenttheory:Implicationsforschoolpsychology.PsychologyintheSchools,41,247-259. Lee,E.J.(2003).Theattachmentsystemthroughoutthelifecourse:Reviewandcriticismsofattachmenttheory.Retrievedfromhttp://www.personalityresearch.org/papers/lee.html McLeod,S.(2017).ErikErikson.Retrievedfromhttps://www.simplypsychology.org/Erik-Erikson.html NationalCollegeforTeachingandLeadership(2014).Anintroductiontoattachmentandtheimplicationsforlearningandbehaviour[PDFSlidePresentation].Retrievedfromhttps://www.bathspa.ac.uk/media/bathspaacuk/education-/research/digital-literacy/education-resource-introduction-to-attatchment.pdf Shemmings,D.(2015).Howsocialworkerscanuseattachmenttheoryindirectwork.Retrievedfromhttp://www.communitycare.co.uk/2015/09/02/using-attachment-theory-research-help-families-just-assess/ SomersetChildren&YoungPeopleHealth&Wellbeing.(n.d.).Emotioncoachingandself-regulation.Retrievedfromhttp://www.cypsomersethealth.org/?ks=1&page=mhtk_secp_5 Wells,J.,Sueskind,B.,&Alcamo,K.(2017).Childandadolescentissues.Retrievedfromhttps://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/child-and-adolescent-issues Williams,L.,&Haley,E.(2017).BeforethefivestagesweretheFOURstagesofgrief.Retrievedfromhttps://whatsyourgrief.com/bowlby-four-stages-of-grief/ Abouttheauthor CourtneyAckerman,MA,isagraduateofthepositiveorganizationalpsychologyandevaluationprogramatClaremontGraduateUniversity.SheisaresearcherandevaluatorofmentalhealthprogramsfortheStateofCaliforniaandherprofessionalinterestsincludesurveyresearch,wellbeingintheworkplace,andcompassion. Howusefulwasthisarticletoyou? Notusefulatall Veryuseful 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Submit Sharethisarticle: Articlefeedback PleaseletusknowwhatwecanimproveCAPTCHACommentsThisfieldisforvalidationpurposesandshouldbeleftunchanged. Comments Whatourreadersthink RhemaTembo onJuly20,2022at17:13 howdoesattachmentinfluencespersonalitydevelopmentinadulthood. Reply NicoleCelestine,Ph.D. onJuly21,2022at03:10 HiRhema, Goodquestion!Weanswerthisquestionbylinkingthedifferentattachmentstylestoadultbehaviorstraitsinthisarticle:https://positivepsychology.com/attachment-style-worksheets/(seethesubsection‘AttachmentTheoryinPsychology:4Types&Characteristics’) Hopethishelps! –Nicole|CommunityManager Reply aineclarke onNovember29,2021at22:07 HowdoIreferencethisarticle Reply NicoleCelestine,Ph.D. onNovember30,2021at03:20 HiAine, YoucanreferencethisarticleinAPA7thasfollows:Ackerman,C.A.(2018,April27).WhatisAttachmentTheory?Bowlby’s4stagesexplained.PositivePsychology.com.https://positivepsychology.com/attachment-theory/ Hopethishelps! –Nicole|CommunityManager Reply SuzieRussell onOctober17,2021at12:42 IthinkthatabiglimitationwhendiscussingAttachmentTheory,thatIhaven’tseenaddressed,istheeffectoftraumaonaolderchildpasttheearlydefiningstage,oranadult.Bullying,accidentsandinjury,severeillness,familyupheaval,orothersignificantlifeeventscansignificantlyaffectaperson’spsychologicalstate,andthusalteraSecurelyAttachedstyletooneoftheothertypes. Reply AH onDecember25,2020at21:36 Thankyouforaninformativearticle!Doyouhappentoknowofanynon-profitorganizationsthatfocusonstoppingthecycleofmaladaptiveattachmentinfamilies?I’mastudentwithsomeideasforaprogramthatI’dliketopitchtosomeorganizationsthatserveatriskindividuals. Reply NicoleCelestine onDecember26,2020at13:53 HiAH, Gladyoufoundthearticlehelpful—thatsoundslikeaninterestingidea!Yourquestion’salittletricky.It’shardtoknowhowexplicitlyexistingservicesdrawonBowlby’sprinciples.However,Isuspectthatthemessagesoftheframeworkarelikelyembeddedinvariousparentsupportgroupsandeducationalopportunities.Ifyou’reinterestedintheU.S.specifically,maybecheckoutsomeoftheserviceslistedhereandinquireaboutanycurriculums. Hopethishelps! –Nicole|CommunityManager Reply AH onDecember27,2020at11:53 Thankyou,Nicole! Reply Loadmorecomments LetusknowyourthoughtsCancelreplyYouremailaddresswillnotbepublished. Savemyname,email,andwebsiteinthisbrowserforthenexttimeIcomment. 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