Becoming a Stay-at Home Mom (SAHM) - What to Expect

SAHM stands for stay-at-home mom, a caregiver who typically focuses on child and family care while a partner works professionally. profileiconLogIn/JoinHi, LogOutSearchFirstYear>CareWhatIsaSAHMandIsItRightforYou?by MaressaBrownFact-CheckedbyChristineGordonFact-CheckingStandardsWhattoExpectfollowsstrictreportingguidelinesandreliesoncrediblesources,suchaspeer-reviewedstudies,academicresearchinstitutions,highlyrespectedhealthorganizationsandexpertsinvariousfields.Allcontentisfact-checkedbyprofessionaljournalistspriortopublishing. Webelieveyoushouldalwaysknowthesourceoftheinformationyou'rereading.Learnmoreabout oureditorialandmedicalreviewpolicies. onAugust24,2021Latestupdate:SeemoreStocksyWhetherornottobecomeastay-at-homeparentoncebabyarrivescanbeadifficultdecision.BacktoTopInThisArticleWhatdoesSAHMmean?Thepercentageofstay-at-homemomsBecomingaSAHMYourfinancialsituationasaSAHMRetirementbenefitsandsocialsecurityasaSAHMSteppingoutoftheworkforceasaSAHMTalkingtoyourpartneraboutbecomingaSAHMTheultimateimpactofbecomingaSAHM—ornotWhetherornottobecomeastay-at-homeparentoncebabyarrivescanbeadifficultdecision. Welcomingalittleoneintotheworldisgame-changinginsomanyways.Newmomsanddadsarequicklyfacedwithavarietyofdecisionsabouttheirfinances,careergoalsandevensocialplans. Oneofthebiggestquestionsmanynewparentsmustcontendwithiswhetherornotoneofthemwillhit“pause”ontheirprofessionalpathandbecomeastay-at-homecaregiver.Here,severalkeypointstoconsiderifyou’redebatingbetweenbecomingastay-at-home-mom(SAHM)orgoingbacktowork.WhatdoesSAHMmean?SAHMstandsforstay-at-homemom,acaregiverwhotypicallyfocusesonchildandfamilycarewhileapartnerworksprofessionally.YoumightalsocomeacrossSAHP,orstay-at-homeparent,atermthatalsoincludesstay-at-homedads.You’lloftenseetheacronymSAHMonparentingwebsitesorinonlineforums,liketheWhattoExpectcommunity. Thepercentageofstay-at-homemomsMorethan11millionU.S.parents—or18percent—didnotworkoutsidethehome,accordingtothemostrecentPewResearchCenteranalysisofU.S.CensusBureaudata.Thenumberofstay-at-homemomstodayissimilartostatisticsfrom1989(27percentofmomsstayhomenow,comparedto28percentthen),butthesedays,moredadsarestayinghome too.About7percentdidin2016,upfrom4percentinthelate'80s.Butwhilethenumberofmomswhochoosetostayathomewiththeirlittleoneshasremainedmostlyconsistentovertheyears,therearemorefactorsthaneverforparents-to-betothinkaboutwhenmakingthisdecision. BecomingaSAHMJustaswithanyofficejob,theroleofSAHMcomeswithavarietyofday-to-daytasksandbigpictureresponsibilities.Ofcourse,everyfamilyisdifferent,andthere'sno"right"waytobeaSAHM. ContinueReadingBelowReadThisNextHowtoMake—andKeep!—aFamilyBudgetFamilyFinancesHowtoEarnMoneyasaStay-at-HomeMomHowtoMake—andKeep!—aFamilyBudgetFamilyFinancesHowtoEarnMoneyasaStay-at-HomeMomIngeneral,though,youwilllikelyberunningtheshowwhenitcomestochildandfamilycare.Think:takingthereinsonschoolpick-upanddrop-offaswellasextracurriculars,schedulingappointmentsandshoppingforkids’clothing.Overtime,youmaybeworkingcloselywithyourlittleoneonhittingcertainmilestonesrelatedtotheirdevelopment.ManySAHMsalsohandlehousework(suchascooking,cleaning,laundryandgroceryshopping),overseeinghouseholdfinances(creatingandmanagingthefamilybudget)andhandlingthefamily’ssocialcalendar. Theseparameterscanvary,ofcourse,dependingonwhatworksbestforindividualfamilies.Forinstance,insometwo-parenthouseholds,aworkingpartnermightenjoygroceryshopping,mealprepandcooking,sotheytakeonthosetasksexclusively—orshareitwiththestay-at-homepartner. Fromdoingthedishestooverseeingthekids’morningorbedtimeroutines,justaboutanychorethat’straditionallyassignedtoaSAHMmaybemoreefficientlycompletedwhenacoupledecidestodivideandconquer.That’swhyit’simperativetohaveacandiddiscussionaboutresponsibilitiesandexpectationswithyourpartnerwhilemakingthisdecision.YourfinancialsituationasaSAHMIfoneparent’sincomeislessthanorequaltothecostofchildcare,stayingathomecanfeellikeanobviouschoice,aslongastheotherparent’ssalarycancoveryourfamily’scostofliving.Butifyourchildcarecostsaresignificantlylessthanyourpaycheck,you’llwanttoaskyourselfotherquestionsaboutyourfinances,suchas:Dowewanttohaveanotherchild,andmightIwanttostayathomeafterthebirthofbabynumbertwo?Ifso,goingbacktoworktobuildupsavingsbeforehandmightcomeinhandy.Dowehopetoretireearlyorbuyahouse?Ifyes,continuingtoworkmayhelpyoureachthosefinancialgoalssooner.Howcanwereduceourhouseholdexpensesinawaythatwouldmakeiteasierforoneofustostayathome?Willwehaveenoughofabuffertopayforunexpectedcosts, suchasanERbillorexpensivehomerepair?RetirementbenefitsandsocialsecurityasaSAHMRetirementmayseemlikealongwaydowntheroad,butyourdecisiontostayathomecouldimpactyoursavings.Ifyourcurrentemployermakescontributionstoapensionor401Kaccountthatyou’llbemissingouton,you’llwanttofactorthatintoyourlong-termfinancialplanning. You’llalsowanttothinkabouttheeffectstayinghomemighthaveonyoursocialsecurityretirementbenefits.ExpertsnotethattheamountyoupayinFederalInsuranceContributionsAct(FICA)taxeseachyearisafunctionofhowmuchyoumake.Apercentageofyourincome(15.3percent)uptoaspecifiedwagebaseisappliedtoFICAtaxesforretirement,lifeanddisabilitysocialsecuritybenefits;youpay6.2percenttowardssocialsecurityand1.45percentforMedicaretax,andyouremployerpaystheother7.65percent.Whenit’seventuallytimetoclaimyoursocialsecurity,thesizeofyourbenefitisbasedonthenumberofyearsyoupaidFICAtaxes.Generally,youmustpayintothesocialsecuritysystemforaminimumof10yearstoqualifyforretirementbenefits.Theamountyoureceiveinretirementbenefitsdependsontheaverageofthe35highestyearsofpaymentsintothesystem.YouryearsspentasaSAHMcouldtranslatetozerosinthesocialsecurityworkrecords,and,inturn,potentiallyreducedretirementbenefits.However,spousesareeligibleforsocialsecurityeveniftheydon’tqualifyontheirown.SteppingoutoftheworkforceasaSAHMIfyou’realreadyonyourwayoutofajobyoudislikeorhavebeenlaidoff,youmightfeelthatstay-at-homeparenthoodchoseyou.Forothers,leavingtheworkforceisaconsciousdecision.Ifyou’reonthefence,reflectonwhatyoumightmissaboutyourjob,whetherit’scareeradvancement,professionalfulfillmentorbeingpartofateam.Somecompaniesmightallowyoutokeeponefootintheworkforcewhenyoubecomeaparent—perhapsgoingpart-timeorworkingremotely—whichcouldmakethedecisionfeellessall-or-nothing.Ifyouplanonreenteringtheworkforcelater,thinkabouthowyou’llmaintainyourskillsandstayontopofshiftsoccurringinyourindustry.Willyouattendseminars,takeonlinecourses,optforcontinuededucation,listentopodcastsorreadpublicationsrelatedtoyourfield?Maintainingyourprofessionalconnectionsisalsokey.ALinkedInsurveyfoundthatasmanyas85percentofjobsarelandedthroughconnections,sostayingintouchwithformercolleaguesduringyourtimeasaSAHMcanbesmart.Thinkattendingin-personnetworkingevents,catchingupwitholdcoworkersoveremailorcoffee,orevenworkingfreelancejobshereandthere.TalkingtoyourpartneraboutbecomingaSAHMAlthoughitsoundslikeano-brainer,ifyouhaveapartner,it’simportanttobeonthesamepagewhenmakingthisdecision.Forexample,you’llwanttobeforthcomingaboutanyfinancialconcernseitherofyouhaveasyouenterthisnextchapter. You’llalsowanttomakesureyouagreeonfutureplansthatcouldimpactyourfinancesandlifestyle,suchashowyou’llhandlebigticketpurchaseslikevacations,howmuchyou’llcontributetosavingsandwhetherornotyouhopetohavemorechildren. TheultimateimpactofbecomingaSAHM—ornotIt’spossiblethatthedecisiontobecomeastay-at-homeparent—ornot—willsetoffaflurryofopinionsfromlovedones,friends,neighborsandevenstrangers.SomeSAHMsreportfeelingasthoughonlysomepeopleweresupportiveoftheirdecision.Butultimately,thisdecisionisyoursandyourpartner’stomake.Whetheryouchoosetobecomeastay-at-homeparent,continueworkingorfigureoutsomethinginbetween(suchasworkingpart-timeorfromhome),restassuredthatyoudon’tneedtostressabouttheshort-andlong-termimpactonyourlittleone.ResearchfromHarvardBusinessSchoolfoundthatchildrenofworkingmomsgrowuptobejustashappyasthoseofstay-at-homemoms.Previousstudieshadalsoshownthatyoungchildrenandteenagersdojustfinewhentheirmomswork,sohopefullythisrecentresearchoffersadditionalpeaceofmindforworkingmoms.Ultimately,thechoicetoexitorremainintheworkforceisadeeplypersonalone,andwhat’srightforonefamilymaynotworkforanother.Intheend,allyoucandoismakethedecisionthatbestsuitsyourfamilyandpersonalsituation.FromtheWhattoExpecteditorialteamand HeidiMurkoff, authorof WhattoExpectWhenYou'reExpecting.WhattoExpectfollowsstrictreportingguidelinesandusesonlycrediblesources,suchaspeer-reviewedstudies,academicresearchinstitutionsandhighlyrespectedhealthorganizations.Learnhowwekeepourcontentaccurateandup-to-datebyreadingour medicalreviewandeditorialpolicy.ViewSourcesWhattoExpectWhenYou'reExpecting,5thedition,HeidiMurkoff.WhatToExpect.com,ShouldYouGoBacktoWork?,April2021.WhatToExpect.com,ReturningtoWorkAfterMaternityLeave,December2018.PewResearchCenter,PublicViewsonStayingatHomevs.Working,April2014.PewResearchCenter,Stay-at-HomeMomsandDadsAccountforAboutOne-in-FiveU.S.Parents,September2018.LinkedIn,NewSurveyReveals85%ofAllJobsareFilledViaNetworking,February2016.HarvardBusinessSchool,KidsofWorkingMomsGrowintoHappyAdults,July2018.SocialSecurityAdministration,WhatIsFICA?,March2017.SocialSecurityAdministration,BenefitsforYourFamily.Wasthisarticlehelpful?YesNoThanksforyourfeedback!RelatedTopicsCareFirstYearFirstYearGroupsSecondTrimesterThirdTrimesterGotoYourBaby'sAgeWeeks0-1Week2Week3Week4Week5Week6Week7Month2Month3Month4Month5Month6Month7Month8Month9Month10Month11Month12TrendingOnWhattoExpectTheCOVID-19VaccineforInfants,ToddlersandYoungChildrenHowtoCreateaNightShiftSystemWhenYouHaveaNewborn⚠️Youcan'tseethiscoolcontentbecauseyouhaveadblockenabled.Pleasewhitelistoursitetogetallthebestdealsandoffersfromourpartners.WhenDoBabiesStartLaughing?Baby-LedWeaningWhatHappensinthe‘4thTrimester’(andIsItaRealThing)?