5 Signs You're Too Polite In Your Daily Life - Bustle

2. You Have A Hard Time Asserting Yourself In Groups. If you find yourself wondering if you're too polite, a great hypothetical is to think ... SDIProductions/E+/GettyImagesByMarissaHigginsJuly21,2016Whenitcomestoqualitieswerespectinpeople,it'sraretofindsomeonewhowon'tinclude"beingpolite"ontheirlist.Thatsaid,though,politenesscanbeadouble-edgedsword—and,indeed,someofthesignsyou'retoopolitemightindicatethatyourpolitebehaviorisactuallydoingyoumoreharmthangood.Ingeneral,beingpolitetendstohelppeopleinmanysituations:It'sneverabadthingforyourbosstothinkofyouaspolite,orforyourfriendstoimmediatelyknowyouasconsiderate.Butforsomepeople,beingtoopolitecanactuallybearecipeforputtingtheirpersonalneedsbehindtheneedsofothers,andthatcanleadtoburn-outandresentment.So,howdoyouknowifyou'retoopolite?Inallfairness,itmightbedifferentforeveryone;everyonehasadifferentbaselineforwhattheyconsider"politeness"tobe,forone—andbeyondthat,everyonehasdifferentobligationsandcommitmentsintheirownlivesthattheyhavetocontendwithaswell.Whatsomeoneconsidersbeing"toopolite"or"toonice"willlikelylookdifferentforsomeoneelse,andthat'sOK!Figuringoutwherethelinebetweenpoliteandtoopoliteisultimatelycomesdowntoself-investigationandlookingseriouslyatyourbehaviorandpatterns.Doyoutendtoregretagreeingtocertainfavorsorcommitments?Doyoufindyourselfhelpingothersoutbecauseyoufeelpressuredto,notbecauseyouwantto?Doyousimplyfeelthatyoudon'texpressyourtrueviewsbecauseyou'reworriedaboutoffendingothers?Nomatterwhatthecaseis,ifyoufeelthatyou'retoopolite,it'sgoodtomakesureyouaren'tlettingittakeanegativetollonyourlifeandhappiness.Whilenotall-inclusive,checkoutthelistbelowforsomecommonsigns:1.YourDefaultResponseIs"Sorry"Ifyoufindyourselfconstantlysayingthatyou'resorryandapologizingforthingsthataren'teveninyourcontrol,it'sasignyoumightbetoopolite.Foralotofpeoplewhoarepeoplepleasers,it'stemptingto"fix"or"solve"situationsbycleaningthemupasquicklyaspossible,butit'simportanttorecognizewhenit'snotactuallyyourjobtodoso.Constantlyapologizingcanbeexhausting,especiallyifyoubegintointernalizealloftheseissuesas"yourfault,"eveniftheyaren't.2.YouHaveAHardTimeAssertingYourselfInGroupsIfyoufindyourselfwonderingifyou'retoopolite,agreathypotheticalistothinkabouthowyouactinagroupdynamic.Doyoufindyourselffailingtonetworkbecauseyoufeelrudeinsertingyourselfintoaconversation?Doyouendupbarelygettingawordintofriendlyconversationsbecauseyoudon'tknowhowtoredirectthetalkbacktoyourselforyourday?Thesearesignsthatyourconsideratenessofothersmaybecomingattheexpenseofsilencingyourownvoiceandhidingyourpersonality.3.YouFeelPressuredToDoOthersFavorsWhensomeoneputspressureonyoutodothemafavorandyou'renotOKwithdoingit,it'salwaysatrickybalancetogetoutofitwithoutfeelinglikeyou'reatriskofoffendingthem.Ifyou'repronetobeingoverlypolite,though,it'slikelyyouneverreallygetoutofdoingsomeoneafavor—evenwhenyoudon'twanttoormightnotbeableto—because,well,youalwaysagreetothem.Evenifyourpoliteresponseispositiveinthemoment,ithasthepotentialtoleadtoloadsofresentmentandpassive-aggressivefeelingsdowntheline.It'salsoasurefirewaytodrainyourenergy.4.YouAlwaysPutYourOwnNeedsLastWhetherit'sthatyoureallyneedtocatchuponsleeporthatyousimplywantanafternoontoyourself,ifyou'retoopolite,youmayexperiencefeelinglikeit'simpossibletosay"no"topeople.Butputtingyourownneedslastoverandovercannotjustbebadforyouemotionally,butalsophysically:Studiesshowthatwhenpeopleexperiencechronicstressandfatigue,they'remorelikelytosleeppoorly,havelessenergy,andfeelmoreirritableoverall.Thisisnowaytoliveyourdailylife,evenifyou'retryingtodothe"right"thingbybeingpoliteinthemoment.Establishingboundariesdoesn'tmakeyourudeormean!Itjustletsothersknowwhereyourlinesare,andthat'sperfectlyOK.5.YouDon'tTellPeopleWhenThey'veHurtYouInmypersonalexperience,thisisabigone.Ifyou'retoopolite,youmayhaveahardtimetellingpeoplewhensomethingthey'vesaidordonehashurtorupsetyou.Whetherit'safamilymemberwhomadeanoffensivecommentatdinnerorafriendwhowasalittletoojudgmentalofyouroutfit,thesethingscanreallyhavealastingeffectonyourmoodandself-esteem.Ifyou'repronetobeingtoopolite,however,it'slikelyyou'llbetemptedtobrushthesereactionsundertherugandignorethemsoyoudon'tseemconfrontationalorrude.Butit'simportanttorememberthatvoicingyourfeelingsisnotwrong.It'sOKtohaveanhonestdialoguewiththosearoundyou,especiallyifthey'veaccidentally(orevenintentionally)hurtyou.Ifyoufeellikeyoumightbetoopolite,it'sOK!Thereisabsolutelynothingwrongwithbeingpoliteandconsiderateofothers.Ifyoufeellikeyourdesiretobepoliteispushingbackyourownneedsandfulfillment,though,it'simportanttostepbackandreevaluatethesituation.Settingboundariesandvaluingyourownneedsandwantsisessential,becauseyouareabsolutelyworthit.Images:SDIProductions/E+/GettyImages;Giphy(5)SEARCHCLOSEEntertainmentSeeAllTV&MoviesBooksCelebrityMusicStreamingStyleSeeAllFashionBeautyCelebrityStyleTheBeautyBoomWellnessSeeAllHealthRelationshipsSelfLifeSeeAllAstrologyTechFoodTravelRuleBreakersOriginalsShopVideoChooseanedition:US/UKNewsletterAboutArchiveDMCAAdvertiseTermsPrivacyMastheadEditorialStandards©2021BDGMedia,Inc.Allrightsreserved.